let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think I am morally bankrupt
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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