Your mouth is God's brothel.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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