can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You can't just leave with hair like that
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
