whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
