part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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