Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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