even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
