i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
