Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
