Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
