I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
