remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize