How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
