She's JV to your varsity
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize