the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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