The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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