I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize