She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
