Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
