North Korea, Best Korea!
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
