The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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