the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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