My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
