I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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