i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
