sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
