I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
actually, I'm a sock model
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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