drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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