I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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