Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Randomize
