marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
