How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
