Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
