Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize