Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
