have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
