i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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