one two three fourrrrnication!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Are we still banned from the library?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
