i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Randomize
