What a fucking waste of an outfit
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
