i jhust puked up my retainher.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize