he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
