Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
