she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
