My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
