I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
