Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dick very happy bro
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
