Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
