drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
