all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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