So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Sponge bath it is.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
