Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
