ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
