Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
