Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He passed out mid-signature
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
