Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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